If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right. -Henry Ford What does the following story have to do with successful entrepreneurship? Plenty. Once upon a time, in an enchanted land of bucolic green mountails, there was a blended household consisting of three children and two parents. Two of the children belonged to the father and one belonged to the mother from previous marriages. The three children were all close in age, all the same sex. Economically and educationally they were all similar. They were well-mannered, good, sweet, well-loved kids. One day, the children rescued a baby mouse from the jaws of their pet cat. The mouse was in shock and the children decided to nurse it back to health. They put it in a large plastic container and fed it with an eyedropper. They gave it raisins and kernels of corn which the mouse ate. They spent hours watching the mouse for signs of improvement. The parents warned the children that the mouse would probably die. Mice caught by domestic cats often don't survive the trauma, and after all, the mouse was a wild animal not intended to live in a large plastic container. The children, undaunted, decided to care for the mouse as long as they could. On the third day in captivity, the children discovered the mouse had died. The two children that belonged to the father ranted and raved angrily. They blamed their father for the mouse's death because he had put the mouse's cage in the garage the night before (it was summer and not cold in the garage.) They noisily screamed and yelled at the father, claiming the mouse's death was all his fault. The child who belonged to the mother said, "It's sad, but oh well, at least we gave the mouse a few good days at the end of its life, " as she got on with her own daily routine. Same situation, same household, similar children, different responses. Why? Learned beliefs. Beliefs are learned ways of looking at the world. We teach our children a whole slew of beliefs before they can even speak. Luckily, these beliefs are not written in stone. We can choose to unlearn the beliefs that hurt us and replace them with healthy reframed thoughts. As entrepreneurs, we are forced to face and debunk many old beliefs if we are to succeed. Do any of these sound familiar?
- Such a high percentage of small businesses fail. I don't want to be one of them.
- I'm terrible at numbers (insert your own small business phobia here).
- I'm not smart enough.
- I need an "expert" to give me permission.
- I'll never be able to get a mortgage if I'm self employed.
- I'll never be able to support a family on my self-employment income.
- I'll never be able to retire or I'll retire in poverty.
- I'm not assertive enough.
- I've failed before and almost lost everything, why should I try again?
Do you share any of these beliefs with me? By surrounding myself with successful people who have done what I'm seeking to do, I've begun to disassemble some of these beliefs...beliefs I've learned from my parents, stories I've made up about my own experiences, and frankly, lots of stuff I've discovered is baloney.
To disassemble tired old beliefs you must:
- Resist the temptation to blame yourself and others. The next time you find yourself complaining about someone else, quietly observe your words and resist the urge to judge yourself or others. Where is your belief about blame coming from? Does it have a gem of knowledge inside it? Is it going to serve you as you move ahead? If not, why are you hanging on to it? What are you getting from it?
- Surround yourself with people who support your dreams. Don't surround yourself with flighty pollyannas who worship you and tell you that you can do anything you want. Surround yourself with people who respect and admire you and who give you honest feedback without yelling, swearing, degrading, or criticizing.
- Surround yourself with people who challenge you to become a better person, people who have already done what you want to do. Avoid the naysayers, complainers, and blamers even if it means you must retreat from old relationships. There is never any good to be gained from this brand of negativity. This doesn't mean you ignore problems and discomfort; it simply means you don't wallow in them.
- Recognize the power of language. Referring to yourself or others in demeaning or derogatory terms is a huge energy sucker. See if you can go through a whole day without complaining. What's the impact on your energy when you say, "I got 4 hours of sleep last night" (fact) versus telling everyone how tired you are incessantly throughout the day (feeling). Which one is going to serve you better? How will your body behave based on the words you use?
- Use affirmations. I used to think affirmations (the practice of repeating postive statements to yourself) were the realm of groovy hippies and people out of touch with reality. As a childbirth educator in the mid-90s, I learned and saw evidence every day that the power of women's beliefs played a huge role in contributing to functional labor. I can support this with facts and figures. Nope, affirmations aren't just fluffy sayings to make you feel good and protect you from reality. They work. Our words to ourselves are form the core of everything we do and are. Affirmations are not sugar coated half-truths; they are reframed beliefs, that if repeated faithfully become your reality, and eventually, the way others see you.
Beliefs are about more than positive thinking. Beliefs are about more than seeing the glass half full or half empty. It's about reframing your words (i.e., finding new words to support what you want, rather than using your words to focus your thoughts on what you don't want). It doesn't happen overnight. You must practice daily. What does this children and the mouse story have to do with entrepreneurial pursuits? Plenty. Just look at the beliefs of three similar children to recognize the power of how we observe our world and what we are taught as children. What are you teaching your children? What are you teaching yourself? How do your beliefs affect how you run your business? If you think you can build a successful small business, you can. If you think you can't build a successful small business, you won't. Copyright 2005, Ann Zuccardy, All rights reserved.
Ann Zuccardy is a freelance technical and copy writer with 17 years of industry experience in marketing and technical communication. For engaging copy with heart, soul, and humor, Ann's your gal. Visit the blog where Ann documents her own business marketing makeover at: Vermont Shortbread Company Blog.
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